“You are clever if you want to change the world,
but you are wise if first you change yourself.”
—Nancy Salmeron
I read a quote that said, “Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have of trying to change others.” As a human being I understand how difficult it is to change my personal bad habits, yet as a personal development coach and a change agent I know it’s possible. Change is not impossible, but you must commit to it and embrace it. Individuals seeking personal development seek change because they have accepted that something in their life is not working. The journey of change may be long and arduous because we are creatures of habits and patterns. The inability to understand that our life can be improved by changing our behavior inhibits change. Lack of accountability for our own actions may cause us to not seek change. Blaming others for what happens in our lives can also stop change.
Implementing change in your life requires a commitment from yourself; it becomes a dance of breaking bad patterns and replacing them with better ones. This journey of change takes time and a great deal of patience and can only be done by you. When I discuss change with potential clients, I always remind them that I will assist in their change process, but they will be doing the heavy lifting. Reflect for a moment on the quote in the opening sentence: If you consider how hard it is to change yourself, can you fully understand how impossible it can be to change others? Today, let’s talk about how you can be the change you want to see in the world and what it takes to implement change in your life.
Hold yourself accountable for your life.
Is there something that is not working in your life? The first step is to identify the problem. For example, perhaps you are tired of the stress you experience because you are not patient with others. Identifying the stressor—your lack of patience—is the first step of change. Remember, we are talking about how and what you want to change about yourself. Yes, you may lose your patience with people at the supermarket line, or with your spouse, siblings, or friends but you can’t do anything about their behavior. You can only change the way you react to them.
Seek change.
By seeking change, you have told yourself that you are worthy of a better life. You have told yourself that you deserve better. As you seek change you have to commit to what you desire. If your desire is to be more patient, make a list of things you can do when you are losing your patience. For example, if you are arguing with a family member and you are losing your patience, you may need to learn to manage your emotions. You may need to practice empathetic listening. When all that fails, count to ten!
Be patient.
Will change take effect in a day? Oh no, you must be patient! You will fail and fail once more but you can’t give up on change. Some research has shown that you can implement change in ninety days or more, but when dealing with personal habits you must remember that bad habits take a long time to break. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself time to fall, get up one more time, and try again.
We may feel disappointment when we realize that we can’t change another person’s behavior. However, how we change our interactions with others can influence change in them. You can sometimes alter people’s behavior by the way you react to them. You may influence an increase in peace and harmony in others if you have patience and understanding for those that drive you crazy! Yes, you will fail at first, but stick with it and don’t give up on yourself. The older I get the wiser I become not because of what I do for a living but because of the changes I am implementing in my life every day. Love and embrace change because with change we not only alter our own humanity, but we impact the world in a loving, positive way! Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings and much love your way!
Nancy😊