“Self-esteem and self-love are the perfect ingredients for a
recipe to create a life filled with abundance and joy.”
—Nancy Salmeron
What is most important—self-love or self-esteem? Can you have one without the other? Self-love may have a bad rap because some relate it to vanity and selfishness. The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes self-love as the “love of self,” or “the regard for one’s own happiness or advantage.” Self-love relates to the ego. Self-esteem is defined as “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities, self-respect, pride, self-regard, faith in oneself, self-confidence, self-assurance.” Do we need both to be successful? When you have high self-esteem, you might feel very confident in certain areas of your life, but not in all of them. High self-esteem is found in certain areas where you have knowledge and practice. The more time and dedication you devote to your career or to a certain skill the more confident you become. With high self-esteem you are proud of what you do. On the other hand, self-love is about self-acceptance no matter what. With self-love you recognize and accept your flaws. Your goal is to take good care of yourself and you seek what brings you joy because you know you are worthy of happiness. Today, let’s talk about the difference between self-esteem and self-love. It is my goal that you understand that having good self-esteem is wonderful, but a better goal is for you to acquire self-love.
Self-esteem is a good start.
When you have high self-esteem you are confident in certain abilities or areas of your life. This confidence may come from knowledge of a certain topic or practice of a certain skill. For example, I have high self-esteem related to public speaking. I used to get very nervous about public speaking, but with time and practice I have learned to enjoy and even love it! My self-esteem soars in this area because of the time and dedication I have devoted to mastering this skill. On the other hand, if I were asked to sing my self-esteem would diminish because I don’t feel comfortable with this skill. Maybe if I got a singing coach and practiced singing in time I would develop high self-esteem in this area. Self-esteem helps you feel confident in certain areas of your life but can also keep you confined to those areas.
Self-love should be the focus.
If you love yourself, you trust your ability to succeed in any area of your life. You are able to identify your weaknesses and make them your strengths. If you feel self-love, you don’t care what others think of your singing and will be loud and proud if you are asked to sing. Self-love is about trusting yourself to succeed in life’s challenges. It’s about always seeking new opportunities to grow and only doing things that bring you joy. When you love yourself, you don’t take yourself too seriously; you are able to laugh at yourself. You are not afraid to fail because you understand that failure is simply your guide for growth. When you love yourself, you are not a doormat to anybody’s expectations. Self-love shows you who you are and reminds you that you are worthy of your desires and dreams. When you experience self-love, you put on the oxygen mask first so that you can then help others. When you love yourself, you have a high regard for your well-being and happiness.
How self-esteem and self-love come together.
Good self-esteem is the gateway to self-love. When you are proud of yourself in certain areas of your life, that may result in feelings of confidence and joy. When you have high self-love, you are happy with yourself no matter what the situation. And if there is any situation that takes away from your self-esteem, you don’t fall apart. You tell yourself that you are the same person no matter the situation. Self-love will remind you that nobody is perfect and that you can handle any hardship that shows up. Be proud of the achievements and qualities that contributed to your good self-esteem, but let self-love show you who you truly are. Let self-love show you that your imperfections and failures won’t break you. Trust that you are good enough to do and be anything you desire. Love yourself enough to rise to new challenges, seize new opportunities, and grow from everything life brings.
Self-esteem and self-love are best when they join forces! You must first start with self-esteem because you develop a sense of belief in yourself. This can contribute to self-love where you don’t need external circumstances to validate your existence. Self-love is how you feel about yourself, not how others feel about you. If you are led by self-love you are open to growth experiences and meaningful relationships, and you are not afraid of risk or failure. You forgive yourself and other’s mistakes and continue to learn. By combining self-love and self-esteem you are creating the perfect recipe for a life of abundance and joy! Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings and much love your way!
Nancy😊