“Life is not about avoiding adversity; life is about welcoming setbacks and developing the strength to keep on pushing forward as you continue to fail.” —Nancy Salmeron
“I have been lacking emotional resilience these past few months. I have been wondering where I will find the courage to keep on pushing forward. There are days when I don’t want to wake up,” my coaching client told me. I looked at her through the computer screen and told her that there were days when I felt the same way. I said that what she was feeling was normal and that it would be unnatural if she did not feel sad, depressed, or anxious in these incredibly challenging and difficult times. The year, 2020, has been a year of great sadness, loss, and fear. I reminded her that she needed to be forgiving of herself and needed to give herself time to feel every emotion that showed up her body. I then added that giving herself time to feel her emotions, did not mean she needed to stay there exceedingly long. I reminded her that emotional resilience has to do with the ability to bounce back from adversity. “Life is not about avoiding adversity; life is about welcoming setbacks and developing the strength to keep on pushing forward as you continue to fail.”
What is emotional resilience? How do you develop it? Emotional resilience is about developing intrinsic motivation when you feel like you can no longer move forward. We are all born with this trait, but some have developed it more. Today, I want to briefly mention three elements you need to develop emotional resilience. In the next couple of blogs, I will talk in more depth about how to develop emotional resilience.
Element One: Physical strength, including energy, good health, and vitality
To be emotionally resilient you must feel good and have good health. Therefore, it is important that you eat food that is good for you and gives you positive energy. You are what you eat, so if you are not mindful about what you are putting in your body, you will take away your vitality. Food can change and affect your mood. For example, fluctuations in blood sugar when you eat a doughnut can change your mood. Having high blood sugar can lead to irritability, and low blood sugar can bring feelings of depression and lethargy.
Element Two: Emotional awareness, including self-esteem
What are you believing about yourself? What thoughts and emotions are you encountering? Element two is about emotional awareness, self-esteem, self-confidence, and the thinking and reasoning abilities. People who have high self-esteem or high self-belief have failed many times but continue to push ahead anyway. They understand that failure is part of success and believe that things will get better. These individuals welcome sadness and depression for a brief moment and then send these emotions on their way. They also focus on positivity and only expect the best outcomes.
Element Three: Positive social relationships
A quality life requires quality relationships—with your partner, children, family, friends, and in your workplace and community. Who surrounds you? Turbulent relationships are not only hazardous to your emotional resilience but affect your physical health. Having loving relationships and effective communication is key to having great relationships. Having solid, loving, and kind relationships with others can relieve harmful levels of stress, which affect the immune system. Be mindful of your tribe, because your emotional resilience is being improved or harmed by the people that are in your life.
These three elements of emotional resilience are the start to being aware of your inner potential and strength. During the next couple of blogs, I will teach you simple ways to develop emotional resilience. It is also my goal to develop a program on emotional resilience, so expect that, too. I would like to remind you that resilience is a gift given to all of us, yet we must foster, nurture, and guard this gift. Resilience starts with a healthy lifestyle and then it transmits to your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs or your psychological being. Lastly, your relationships with others will support or take away from your emotional resilience. Positive self-belief, self-compassion, and self-acceptance also contribute to your emotional resilience. It is how we learn to empower or push ourselves through difficult times that will make life more joyous and pleasurable. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.