—Nancy Salmeron
Has this ever happened to you? You wake up blissful, grateful to be alive, then a negative thought shows up. You recall something hurtful your friend told you last week. You start to get upset about it one more time. All of a sudden your mood changes and you no longer feel happy. What happened? Where do negative thoughts come from? Why do they have the power to change your blissful, happy mood so quickly?
Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, estimates that 80% of our thoughts contain some sort of negative content. It is believed that negative thoughts are part of how we evolved. It is within our nature to constantly scan our environment for problems to avoid or fix, and when we find one, a negative thought is born. The problem is not that we construct negative thoughts. The problem is that we believe our negative thoughts to be true. I am guilty of not only entertaining negative thoughts but believing that they all were true. It has been my experience that as I immerse myself in my negative thoughts, I lose the capability to be reflective and to step back to get a better perspective on what is real. Our negative thoughts can stem from the inability to understand the power of our perception. Our negative thoughts may also be the result of how you perceive a situation based on a past experience.
An example of how negative thoughts influence our perceptions would be when a teacher, friend, or sibling told you that you were dumb and you believed it. The problem was not what others said, but that you believed it. That perception became an ingrained negative thought about who you are. That negative thought will remain in your subconscious mind until you follow these four steps.
Identify the negative thought.
The first step to getting rid of negative thoughts is to identify what those negative thoughts are telling you. For example, let’s say your negative thoughts tell you that you are fat. Maybe this came from someone telling you that you have gained weight. This thought is ingrained in your subconscious mind. You heard it and now you believe it’s true.
What is the evidence that the thought is true?
The next step is to question the thought. What is the evidence that this thought is true? You may answer that you don’t fit into your old jeans. That should be enough evidence, right? Well, not really, because it’s all relative. There may be someone who is a few sizes bigger than you who would not call you fat. So, your evidence is not valid. Yes, you may have gained weight, but feeling fat is about perception. You are only fat in your perception. This is where you start to see that maybe that thought is not real.
What emotions does this thought bring you?
When you think you are fat, do you get excited, happy, or joyful about it? When I have thought that I am fat, I get sad or depressed. I feel unattractive and lack motivation to work out. This negative thought makes me feel down. If you are telling yourself that you are fat, you might become hopeless and won’t try to get healthier. Feeling hopeless will not inspire you to get healthier.
How would you feel if you didn’t have this negative thought?
When you eliminate any negative thought from your mind, the possibilities are endless. When you don’t entertain the thought that you are fat, you are more motivated to go to the gym. I find that I feel more attractive and more inspired to continue to feel good. Negative thoughts don’t inspire you. They pull you down. When you focus on how amazing you look, you will be more motivated to eat better and do more physical activity, which will result in a healthier, leaner, and even more amazing you.
I believe that the road to happiness starts with your thoughts. Your thoughts dictate what direction you are going to take. Will you entertain and believe a thought that brings you fear, worry, anxiety, and sadness or will you examine it, ask if it’s true, and let it go? Negative thoughts should be acknowledged, questioned, and eventually kicked to the curb! Remember, all those negative thoughts are a creation of your ego. The ego’s intention is to protect you. Unfortunately, the ego tries to protect you from things that do not exist. We have the power to create anything we desire for our lives when we fully understand how to manage our negative thinking. Be brave and confront your negative thoughts, but also be wise and let them go. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become!