“You can rediscover your internal power when it has been damaged by childhood trauma if you admit that you experienced trauma, and you seek professional help to learn that whatever caused the trauma was not your fault.”
—Nancy Salmeron
I have been reminiscing about my younger self—the young, innocent, fearful, shy, and reclusive Nancy who existed inside of me. As I reflect upon who I truly am and who I believed I was, I can see how my childhood traumas impacted the woman that I am. I also know that by putting a light on those childhood traumas I have uncovered my limiting beliefs. We have all experienced some degree of childhood trauma that has impacted who we are as adults.
These traumas limit your true potential, cut your wings, and make you believe that you are small. An unexamined childhood trauma can linger and affect who you truly are and who you are destined to become. I have identified and learned how to deal with many childhood traumas, but one trauma I have ignored for many years is the trauma of abandonment. As a child, my parents left my sister and myself in Mexico with our grandparents suddenly and without explanation on several occasions. The issue was not that they left us with our grandparents, but that a young child lives in a constant state of confusion if parents don’t explain why they are leaving and when, or if, they will be back. Every time my parents left without warning, I felt abandoned, left behind, and unworthy of love. These feeling of unworthiness made me believe that I was not important. I now know that my parents needed to leave us with our grandparents because as people who worked in the fields getting paid minimum wage, they could not afford childcare.
What was most traumatic about this experience was the fact that our parents never told us beforehand that they were leaving us. When I confronted my parents about this painful childhood trauma and asked them why they never said goodbye when they left us with my grandparents, they said that they could not bear to let us see them cry. I can understand why they would believe this at the time, but now I understand why a child would see it as abandonment.
Our childhood traumas affect people in different ways. Children can go through a range of experiences that can result in childhood trauma. Childhood traumas can be caused by neglect, abandonment, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse or neglect. The results of unhealed childhood traumas on adults may include drug addiction, alcohol abuse, food addiction, and sex addiction. Childhood trauma has also been linked to higher risks of heart disease and diabetes, which result from the accumulation of stress. Childhood traumas damage our self-esteem and limit our positive belief system. They can also increase the risk of mental disorders. Here are some ways that unhealed childhood traumas impact adults.
You don’t believe in yourself.
As a child I believed that I was not worthy of love because of I had experienced the trauma of abandonment. As children, we want our parents to love us and take care of us. Feeling abandoned by the people that you need to love you and not having words to ask why they are leaving you can impede you from believing that you are special and worthy of love. As a child, I was shy and quiet and fearful of being left alone. The best way to discover what childhood traumas are holding you back is to seek the help of a therapist who can guide you. When you do, you will understand why you believe what you believe and how you can change that.
You become the victim of your trauma.
When you don’t identify and deal with your childhood trauma, you become a victim to your past and your future. You believe that you deserve what you received as a child. When you become a victim, you do not know how to deal with your emotions and instead you ignore them. As a victim you talk yourself out of wonderful things because you see yourself as unworthy. It is important to understand that as a child you had no control over what would happen to you, but as an adult you can learn to handle your emotions and change your future.
You respond passively to life.
Individuals who do not identify or address their childhood traumas respond passively in their lives, instead of taking action. Many individuals decide that the only way to deal with the pain of their trauma is to numb the pain so they do not feel it. The ways they numb their feelings is by seeking distractions such drugs, alcohol, food, or sex. When you are living your life passively, you do not believe that you have the power to let go of the past and change your future. But when you recognize what affected you psychologically and emotionally as a child you can take control of your life.
As a child, I experienced the childhood trauma of abandonment that I am currently trying to learn and heal from. I have sought professional help in the past, which has been very beneficial, and I would suggest that you do the same if you wish to heal from any childhood traumas. Currently, I am working on how to deal with painful emotions that still come up. Amazingly, I have rediscovered how much these emotions can affect my everyday life. However, you can rediscover your internal power when it has been damaged by childhood trauma if you admit that you experienced trauma, and you seek professional help to learn that whatever caused the trauma was not your fault.
Childhood trauma continues when you can’t let go of being the victim. And to stop being a victim you must feel the painful emotions, accept them, and then let them go. Remind yourself that you are no longer a child, and you have control of your life. Take control of your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions to take control of your life. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.
www.Nancysalmeron.com