“Be strong because things will get better.
It may be stormy now,
but it never rains forever.”
-Unknown
I am amazed at the resilience of our human spirit. A few days ago, I walked into my favorite coffee shop, and I met a stranger who became a friend. I normally don’t stay to drink my coffee, but something compelled me to stay this time. A woman with a gentle smile was seated at the table next to mine. She said hello, I introduced myself, and it felt like we were long lost friends.
To keep her anonymity, I will call her Stacy. Her husband had just passed away due to cancer. Since she was a stay-at-home mom and had no formal income coming in, she was in the process of losing her home. She planned to move with her two children into her brother’s home and live with his family of five. I asked her how she was handling this very difficult situation, and she said, “I take it a day at a time and count my blessings every day.” This made me think about the topic for today’s blog, which is how to deal with hopeless times.
If you are going through difficult times, this post is especially for you. Here are three things that will help you to carry on when you are feeling hopeless and defeated.
Embrace, or at least accept, change.
Accepting change is crucial in dealing with difficult times. It is my belief that one reason that we struggle with tragedies in our lives such as death, losing a job, separation, or divorce is because we can’t accept that our life will never be the same. We are creatures of habit. We like to know what to expect. When our life changes, we fight it and dwell on the past. In my case, the death of my beloved cousin, Sam, impacted and changed my existence. Losing her to cancer when she was only fourteen was hard to comprehend or accept. I could not believe that she would no longer be part of my life. But I finally embraced it when I realized that although she would not be part of my future, she would always be in my memories. I have great stories to tell about Sam, yet I understand now that my acceptance of losing her helped me move on to a better place. Let go of the past, and accept what is. Remember life is constant change. Things always get better if you give life a chance!
Change your lens or perspective.
Zoom into a better lens. Some of the problems or tragedies in your life are a subset of other things that may be going on in your life. I know it’s difficult to change your perspective when there is a death of a loved one, but as with other problems you need to focus on the grand scheme of things. Fear of the unknown may pop up because of a change, yet understand that unless you face your fear you will not be able to change your view of your life challenge. In my case, with the death of Sam, I finally understood that cancer had made her body weak, and we had to let her go. It was no longer about us and how much we would miss her. It was about her pain. By changing the lens on why she needed to give up the fight, my perspective shifted into surrender and acceptance. Sometimes it’s okay to surrender the fight to shift your perspective.
Remember to count your blessings.
To count your blessings may sound like a cliché, yet it’s always a best practice when dealing with difficult times. What helps me count my blessings is the understanding that it could have been worse. If you look around, there are blessings to count. In the case of Stacy, it could have been worse if she did not have her brother. She could have been homeless with her two children. Stacy told me that she was also grateful for the support of her friends. In Sam’s case, it could have been worse if she had suffered with chemo longer than she did. I miss her, but I am happy she is no longer in pain. Count your blessings if you are going through tough times, and don’t forget that in due time, this too shall pass. Remember nothing is forever, and you have the spirit of a lion!
In conclusion, your problems or your life’s difficulties come to you to teach you something about your spirit. They remind you of your strength. Whatever you are going through, or will go through, is given to you because you can handle it. Nothing is forever, even our pain, and worries will transform into happiness and joy. Have faith in yourself and find strength by accepting change, changing your lens, and counting your blessings! Until next Monday, Believe. Change. Become.
Sending many blessings and much love your way!
Nancy😊