“You are not a failure because you had a setback; you fail when you don’t try.”
—Nancy Salmeron
A few days ago, I was reviewing my book, Believe. Change. Become. Remembering Who You Were Destined to Be. I came across one of my favorite quotes, “What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” by the author known as e.h. I picked this quote for my book because before I took the leap to become a life coach, speaker, and author, I feared failure. I did not understand then that failure would be my best companion during the last five years since I took the leap to pursue what sets my soul on fire. I also recalled how I stalled taking this leap because I wanted assurance that I was not going to fail. I wanted to make things perfect before I jumped. I felt if I had a solid plan, I could not fail. How green I was—how innocent. In the past, I believed that you only failed when you failed to plan. Today, I understand that failure and success go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. Those who can comprehend this paradox will succeed in life. Failure becomes your greatest teacher when you pay attention to its lessons. Failure whispers, “That’s not the right way,” but it is up to you to hear the whisper, correct your course, and keep on going. Failure makes you perseverant; failure makes you wise and strong. Today, I want to show you how to not only dance with failure but how to take the lead.
Take time to heal emotionally after a fall.
When you stumble and fall, savor every emotion and accept how you feel, but don’t get stuck there. One of the biggest problems with suppressed emotions is that until you acknowledge them, they don’t go away. Don’t try to push away what you feel or justify the loss just yet. Stay with the disappointment for a moment, because the disappointment requires your attention. When you reject emotions, they will pop up eventually, which can make you bitter and pessimistic. Feel the loss, feel the failure, and sit with it for a little while; then surrender it.
Remind yourself that without failure, there is no growth.
You are not a failure because you had a setback; you fail when you don’t try. It takes time to get things right, and we must be willing to fail along the way if we want to succeed. In life, you will fail over and over again, but the key is to keep on moving forward. Let failure be another stepping-stone to your success.
Focus on the lesson, not the failure.
Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this? What is something I can do differently next time? What did I do right?” Take some time, to be honest with the answers to these questions. You need to look at the situation from an open perspective. When you focus on the lesson, you learn to fail better, until you master the lesson. Not only do you become wiser, but you discover your inner strength.
What I have learned from failure as I pursue my dreams and live my purpose, is that I only fail when I don’t have the courage to try. Failure has informed me when I need to adjust my sails and move in another direction. Failure can also inform you and show you your resilience and strength. It will make you more confident. If you give failure a chance, it will become your compass on your journey to remembering your essence, the real you. We all fail at one point or another, but those who keep on moving will eventually succeed. Remember, that it is impossible to live an authentic life and not fail. Failure is your most faithful companion when you are pursuing your dreams. Until next week, fail forward, and don’t forget to Believe. Change. Become.