“Be the director of your life’s movie. Understand that you have the power to improve your relationships when you change within and accept what is. But don’t forget that you can eliminate those relationships that chip away at your soul.”—Nancy Salmeron
How do you stop fighting with the ugliness in life? How do you accept and embrace what is? Is it wise to welcome and embrace what causes you pain?
As part of life, you will have to deal with situations that break your heart and cause you to want to run away and give up on dreams, goals, or relationships. Some of these situations appear to repeat themselves over and over. If you are in a relationship with a partner, you know about those recurring fights that you wish would be resolved or that there was a solution for. These unresolved issues or fights are detrimental to your peace of mind and the relationship. To change your behavior is one of the most challenging things you can do. To change others is an impossibility. So, what are your options for dealing with difficult relationship issues or personal life issues? When is it okay to turn in the towel and let go of the expectations you have for others? Does fighting for a desired expectation in others really work? Can you truly influence change in someone whose behavior is chipping at your soul? What are the options for dealing with difficult life situations or people?
Here are three options for dealing with difficult situations, relationships, or people. Are you ready? Here we go. Change yourself, accept the situation, or leave.
Change yourself and watch your situation transform.
Change is not something you can make others do. Change is something you do for yourself. As I look back on recurring events and people who put a dent in my peace, I realize that they stayed in my life because I changed my reaction to them. I learned not to take what they did personally. I learned to stop caring about their opinions of me. When you realize that what others do is more about them than you, change within is easy. Look at someone who you wish you could change. Now focus on how you could change your reaction to what they do or say. That is power. You hold the power. When you no longer let the behavior of others impact you, you discover freedom. There is freedom in having a handle on your mind and your emotions. Handling your mind and emotions regarding what others do or say is how you discover the beauty of changing yourself.
Walk away from a painful situation.
You tried to change yourself, yet the situation you are in is still intolerable or painful. What do you do now? Play the song by Nancy Sinatra, “These Boots Are Made for Walking,” and feel free to walk away. Listen, beautiful one, you need to remember your self-worth. Knowing your worth is about understanding that you need to be treated with honesty, love, and kindness. If love, kindness, and respect don’t reside in a relationship you have with someone, walk away. Don’t stay, hoping that they will change. You deserve only the best! You are worthy of others treating you with respect, love, and kindness. Never forget that.
Accept and embrace the situation.
There will be times in your life where you can’t walk away or change your view on a situation. When you get to this roadblock, see it as an opportunity to accept what is. To accept what is means that you are willing to let of the desire that whatever you are challenged by could be different. In the process of surrendering, you take away the energy of the painful situation. If what you resist persists, what do you think will happen when you take away your attention and stop resisting? What will happen when you accept what is? You will discover that not desiring that a relationship or situation be different, eliminates stagnant, negative energy. When you embrace what is, even when it’s not so great, it becomes tolerable until it disappears.
As you try to figure out how to deal with painful life situations, you must ask yourself if you want to change yourself, accept the situation, or leave the situation. When you do this, you will discover that in the end, the power was always within you. Yes, it’s important to look at yourself to see what you can change about yourself to improve a situation or relationship. Yet, be willing to walk away from relationships that are damaging the growth and prosperity of your soul. Understand that some relationships have time constraints, and know when it’s time to start walking out the door. And when it’s impossible to either change within or eliminate a relationship, be willing to accept and surrender to what is. When you embrace what you cannot change, you discover things shift and the situation becomes more tolerable as the pain eventually evaporates. Love yourself enough to recognize that you have the power to have beautiful relationships when you change within, end painful relationships, or accept what is. Be the director of your life’s movie. Understand that you have the power to improve your relationships when you change within and accept what is. But don’t forget that you can eliminate those relationships that chip away at your soul. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.