Life is about sharing your time with people who uplift you, believe in your dreams, and support you all the way. But life is also about managing challenging or stagnant relationships, which can cause you discomfort but help you grow.” —Nancy Salmeron
I had a beautiful Thanksgiving holiday. I hope you also had a great one. During our Thanksgiving celebration, I was reminded of how blessed I am by the life I have. I am grateful for the relationships I have with my husband, children, family, and friends.
An amazing life is made up of those relationships that you hold close to your heart. Life is about sharing your time with people who uplift you, believe in your dreams, and support you all the way. But life is also about managing challenging or stagnant relationships, which can cause you discomfort but help you grow. As I reflect on the people whom I love, I see how everyone in my life has helped me understand life and myself better. All relationships are important for your personal development. But the most important are those that help you recall the depth of your soul and result in the evolution of your spirit. Challenging relationships can show you how to be empathetic to the pain of others. Difficult situations show you how to have patience with others but, most importantly, how to be patient with yourself. Stale relationships may teach you that human connections sometimes end.
Today, I want to talk about how all the relationships in your life—the positive, the difficult, and the stale—can enhance your life. I will show you how difficult relationships can teach us about love, empathy, and compassion. And stale relationships can show us the art of surrendering and letting go. These relationships can enhance and lead us to extraordinary lives when we are willing to learn and grow from them.
Loving Relationships
We all seek positive, nurturing, loving relationships and there is no mystery as to why. We yearn for and seek these relationships because they support and enhance our growth in a gentle way. You may find these relationships in family and friendships. Friendships and family can guide and support you in overcoming hard times in life. In a compassionate and kind way, these relationships hold your hand and help you up when you fall. They encourage you to grow by embracing change. Being able to be vulnerable is part of being in a loving relationship. You feel free to show your feelings in loving relationships. When you disappoint or hurt each other, you forgive quickly and never expect anything in return. These relationships are a safe haven from the challenges of life.
StagnantRelationships
We all have those relationships with family, friends, or a partner that appear stale. You wonder why you continue with these relationships because the connection is not genuine. There is no sense of appreciation or trust and vulnerability where you can share your most intimate thoughts. You may even sense that these relationships lack contributions by the other person and you tend to ignore it to avoid conflict. Or on the contrary, you may feel a mean or disrespectful vibe. If you are holding onto romantic relationships that lack vibrancy, I would suggest talking with your partner about the elephant in the room. Share what you are feeling and what you desire. Be open and honest about the vision you have for the future of the relationship. Do the same with a stale friendship. However, in both types of relationships, seek depth and passion only with willing participants. You can work on giving CPR to a potentially dead relationship, but if it doesn’t work, you need to be willing to declare a relationship dead with grace and appreciation for what it was. Then let it go.
Challenging Relationships
In a perfect world all of our relationships would be loving, compassionate, and caring. Yet often, the difficult relationships are the ones that we end up feeling grateful for in the end. You may have these relationships with family, partners, or friends who become foes. Difficult relationships are intended for you and the other person to grow. Lack of communication, compassion, and understanding contribute to difficult relationships. Just like with the stale relationship, you must talk about the elephant in the room. Share your feelings to avoid misunderstandings. In difficult relationships, usually, a great deal of assumptions exist. We assume we know what the other person is feeling, but we don’t really know. In difficult relationships, where verbal or even physical abuse is happening, you must be willing to set limits. When encountering challenging moments, learn what triggers you or the other person to become disrespectful or hurtful. Then be willing to step away for a while. You may need time to be alone. Take a walk, listen to music, read, or do whatever will help you to calm you down. Challenging relationships are born out of pain. Being compassionate, understanding, and listening to those who are hurting with an open heart can enhance these relationships. When all of the suggestions above have been done, be willing to learn from these relationships and grow. But if nothing works, be smart enough to treasure the good this relationship brought and wise enough to let dysfunction and pain go.
All your relationships should teach you something about who you are and why you exist. Powerful relationships teach you about love, empathy, patience, and compassion. Loving relationships should be a safe haven for you. These relationships can help you eliminate your fears and challenge you to embrace the unknown. Stale relationships should inspire you to give them life if possible, but also should make you aware when to stop giving them CPR. Be grateful for challenging or difficult relationships because they teach you something about yourself that you may not have known or have forgotten. We are the relationships that we hold dear to our hearts. We learn and grow from the relationships that cause us discomfort and pain. Whatever relationships you are experiencing in this moment, always remember to be loving and kind and compassionate to others but, most importantly, be loving, kind, and compassionate to yourself. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.