“When fear appears, let it in, because we become stronger
and wiser when we face and challenge our fears.”
—Nancy Salmeron
As a life coach, I deal with people’s fear all the time. I understand that fear resides in the mind. Only those who decide to challenge their fears are able to overcome obstacles that hold them back from living authentic, passionate, and purposeful lives. Recently, I challenged a big fear, which had been lingering in my mind for over a decade. The fear was of visiting my hometown in Mexico. Why fear this, you may ask?
For the past ten years, my home state of Michoacán, Mexico and other states in Mexico have been going through challenging times due to drug trafficking organizations and the wars being waged amongst them and against them. Mexican drug cartels have taken over many Mexican states and their people. Thousands of Mexican people, including children, students, politicians, and journalists die in these drug wars every year. This tragic situation, which Mexico is going through, has directly affected my family. A family member has been missing for two years. The disappearance was linked to a drug cartel in my hometown. Due to this very sad and tragic situation, I have been avoiding going to the state of Michoacán and my hometown, San Antonio. For over a decade, I feared for my life and the life of my family, and therefore, I never thought I would go back to visit my hometown.
However, I recently challenged this fear by traveling to San Antonio without my husband or children to check out the possibility of making a dream that my father has come true. He is ill, and his dream is to return to Michoacán for one last visit. My goal for this trip was not only to conquer my fear of being a statistic in the Mexican drug wars, but to also to investigate if my father could fulfill his wish of going to his hometown of San Antonio one last time. I needed to investigate where he would be getting his dialysis, where he would stay, and, if indeed, it was safe for a man in his condition to travel to Michoacán. Surprisingly, all the questions that I asked were answered in a positive way. I was able to connect with a doctor that will refer him to the right dialysis clinic and he will stay with family. He will be able to accomplish his dream of returning one last time to his home town of San Antonio.
My overall experience in Mexico was very positive and beautiful. I got to see family members I had not seen in a long time and had the opportunity to reminisce about my young self. Nobody was hurt or killed while I was in San Antonio, and even if fear is in the air due to the drug wars, for the most part, people are living their lives as best as they can. They are conquering their fears.
So, getting back to the question of fear, I believe fear is an illusion that only exists in our heads. I want to ask you, what fear is holding you back from doing something you desire? What fear exists in your head that is holding you back from living a passionate and purpose-filled life? Conquering my fear of not wanting to be a statistic in the war Mexico is facing with the cartels, reminded me that caution is important when traveling abroad. Yet, I did not let fear paralyze me or keep me from my desires. I was fortunate that I was able to return safe and sound to my family in California, but I also know that it takes courage to live on your own terms. This experience made me realize that despite the situation in Mexico, the Mexican people are filled with courage as they accept their reality and try to live as normally as they can. This life-altering experience also reminded me that as we conquer our fears, we discover that fear is an illusion of the mind. Today, let’s talk about what you can do to conquer your fears.
Become aware of your fears.
To become aware of what you fear is critical to overcoming it. What fearful thought is holding you back from something you desire to do? What fearful belief is keeping you from your dreams? Identify what you fear. In my case, I feared being a statistic in the drug wars in my beautiful state of Michoacán, Mexico. Becoming aware of the fears that are keeping you paralyzed is the first step in overcoming those fears. It is easy to believe that everything you think is true. Some of these thoughts attach to emotions, which then feed your fears. These emotions connect to your fears in a way that make your fears feel real. But they are not real. You are only feeling them.
Decide whether your fears are valid.
Your fears can be self-generated. Something may appear real, yet it may not be happening the way you believe. Encourage yourself by asking yourself, “What if I am wrong?” “What if I do succeed and conquer this fear?” Recognize that not conquering your fears keeps you away from your desires. In my situation, I was afraid for my life. But I also understood that many people are traveling to Mexico, and nothing has happened to them. I was also highly motivated. I wanted to do this for my father. Yes, I needed to be cautious, but I also had to look at what I was missing out on if I did not try to challenge my fearful thoughts. In the end, I was successful with what I set out to do, and I was reminded that I have what it takes to conquer fear.
Step out of your comfort zone and act.
Nelson Mandela once said, “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid. He is the one who conquers that fear.” Once you have decided that you are going to investigate your fear, step out of your comfort zone and approach your fear head-on. Challenge those fearful thoughts and make an action plan. Remind yourself that fear will always focus on worst-case scenarios because it wants to protect you. As I acted, I become a bit less fearful. My beliefs about what I thought my home state of Michoacán, Mexico would be like disappeared.
When fear appears, let it in, because we become stronger and wiser when we face and challenge our fears. At one time, fear’s purpose was to protect us from the saber tooth tiger. Today, the many things we fear exist only in our minds. To conquer your fears, you must identify them and see how those fears are keeping you away from your dreams. Once you do that, ask yourself if it’s worth challenging your fears. If you decide to challenge your fears, be proud of yourself for taking the lead in your life and for not letting fear keep you away from your dreams and desires. Until next time, Believe. Change. Become.